


Dead Ends

by faithinthepoor



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/F, violates canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 08:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set following The Stand</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead Ends

**Author's Note:**

> I would say that this follows [warehouse 13 drabbles](http://archiveofourown.org/works/620313), [Best Laid Plans](http://archiveofourown.org/works/620323) and [Time Warps]() but I wrote this before season four and now all I can say is that it violates canon.

She hears the knocking on her door but she doesn’t respond. She can’t ignore its presence, it’s loud and persistent, but that doesn’t mean she has to formally acknowledge that it exists. 

Everyone knows she is in her room. Where else would she be? She has nowhere to go. She just wishes they could be content in that knowledge and leave her alone. Time has lost quite a bit of meaning for her but it seems like every few seconds one of them comes to the door with some sort of flimsy excuse to see her. Myka wishes she could just tell them that she’s not alright but that she’s not going to slit her wrists either and they would leave it at that but she fears saying anything of that it would just lead to a constant vigil. 

The knocking ends and she breathes a sigh of relief. Said relief is sort lived though as the next sound she hears is that of her door opening. She’s given up keeping the door locked. That action caused more trouble than it was worth. At one point she was sure Pete was going to break the door down with an axe if she didn’t let him in and prove that she was ok. 

She doesn’t bother to address the intruder. Any attempts she has made to ask one of them to leave have fallen on deaf ears. She just stares straight ahead and tries to pretend that she doesn’t exist. Her intruder is just as taciturn as she is and they say nothing as they cross the room. When the interloper has the audacity to climb onto the bed Myka decides that it’s time for the silent treatment to end and turns with the objective of pointing out that she has the right to her privacy.

In the end she doesn’t make a sound. She would have lectured Artie, Pete or even Lena, the latter of whom would probably be attempting to deliver food, but she can not lecture Claudia. Myka’s in immeasurable pain but she is not about to compare wounds with Claudia. Life has not dealt Claudia a fair hand and attachment does not come easy for her. Myka isn’t the only one who has lost someone and if Claudia needs her then she has no choice but to do the best she can to be a bigger and better person.

Claudia is pale and her eyes are red and puffy. She doesn’t say a word as she lies down next to Myka and clings to her like a life preserver. Tears fall afresh for both of them and Myka absently strokes Claudia’s hair. The small frame next to her shakes and Myka continues the movement of her hand until Claudia’s choking sobs are replaced with sniffles.

The girl sits up and seems to be trying to look dignified and in control, “This officially sucks and blows huge, disgusting chunks.”

Claudia’s description almost draws a smile from Myka’s grief frozen face, “Not quite the phrasing I would have used but I can’t say I disagree with your assessment.”

“I’m sorry for barging in on you.”

“It’s ok. I’m here if you need me.”

Claudia contorts herself so that she is sitting Indian style on the bed, “But you’re not really here are you?”

“I’m having a hard time but not so hard that I don’t want to try to help you.”

“I should be better at this. I’m grief girl. Loss is my speciality. If I love you, or maybe even if I just like you, you’ll die or disappear into some interdimensional space or be ordered away by the justice department. This should be old hat. I should be the one supporting you.”

“That’s not your role.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not.” She wishes she had a better answer.

“I know you think I’m a child. Everyone does. Everyone except Steve.”

“Are you trying to tell me that I shouldn’t look at you and see a young person?” Myka says and points to the dark streak Claudia has added to her hair as her version of mourning attire.

“I’m saying it would be nice if people thought I could be of help.”

“And can you? Right now can you help me?” There is a tone in her voice that she’s not proud of.

“No,” Claudia says and looks crestfallen. “I’m so cut up over Steve that I can’t seem to eat or sleep and I didn’t even have bam-chicka-wow-wow thoughts about him.”

“I didn’t have those sort of thoughts about him either,” Myka clarifies.

“Ewww! Why would you even say that? I’ve got a long time until dementia is going to erase that horrible image from my mind. I can’t begin to think how I am gonna cope with carrying that around. I wasn’t talking about you and Steve, I was talking about how you felt about HG.”

“You think I had bam-chicka-wow-wow thoughts about her?”

“Myka don’t be ridiculous. Everyone had bam-chicka-wow-wow thoughts about HG.” 

“Claudia just because someone is attractive doesn’t mean everyone wants to sleep with them.”

“This isn’t about being attractive. You’re attractive, Pete’s attractive but I don’t want to be doing any mattress dancing with either of you.”

“That is good to know.”

“HG was something else. She was like sexual catnip but for humans. She was like kryptonite for the superego.”

“Claudia you can’t honestly believe that everyone wanted to sleep with her.”

“Ah if they had a pulse they did. I’m not even sure that a pulse was necessary. I’m pretty sure that there are inanimate items of furniture that wanted to have hot, nasty sex with that woman.”

She’s not sure that she likes where this conversation is going, “So you are telling me that you believe everyone had a thing for her?”

“Exactamundo.”

“Everybody?”

“Again yes.”

“So even Artie?”

Claudia’s hands fly to her head, “My brain, my brain. Why would you do that to me? I am going to have so many nightmares now.”

“You’re the one who started this.”

“It was my open mouth, insert foot attempt at raising the fact that you and HG had a thing.”

“What makes you think we had a thing?” she tries not to sound defensive. “As you pointed out everyone had a thing for her.”

“Yes,” Claudia draws out the word and rolls her eyes, “but you’re the one that had a thing _with_ her.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Cause if the two of you were in the same room I’d have to look away so I wasn’t blinded by the eye sex.”

“Is that so,” she’s a little mortified that they were so obvious.

“That stuff was ok it was the way you looked at one another like you wanted to hold hands and write soppy love poems that was the problem. I’m an impressionable young woman. I should not be made to witness such sickening displays.”

“I…..she…we…..she was very important to me.” It’s the best she can do and she feels like a traitor.

“No shit genius. Which is why I shouldn’t be leaning on you. You’ve got some epic, harsh grief stuff going on.”

“I guess I do.” Her hand goes to the locket in her pocket. She can’t bring herself to wear it, or even look at it, but she can’t bear to be without it.

“She did a good thing you know.”

“We’d be dead if not for her,” it’s a statement of fact but the truth is sometimes she thinks she should have died with HG.

“And this time she wasn’t even the one who put you guys danger.” Claudia says with a touch of her trademark sarcasm.

“She wasn’t as evil as everyone thought she was.”

“The whole trying to end the world with a pitch fork thing was just a big misunderstanding then, was it?”

“In a way it was,” she says sadly.

“You don’t need to defend her. I was on the team HG even when we were meant to be hating her.”

“Thank you. I guess.”

“No problem. I happen to be an excellent judge of character. It’s one of my many and varied skills.”

“Ok.”

“Are you pissed at Sykes for dying?”

“How can you even ask that? He was a risk to everyone and he would never have stopped.”

“I notice how you skated around the actual question.”

“It’s not my place to sit in judgement of him.”

“And yet I get the sense that you have a whole lot of judgement there. You are Myka, Queen of Judgey McJudgement, Bering.”

“I do feel that he got off a little too lightly,” she confesses. Death was way too easy. He should have lived to face the consequences of his actions.

“I wanted him to suffer. I would have started by pulling his fingernails out one by one while I made him listen to Rebecca Black.”

“The Constitution does expressly forbid cruel and unusual punishment.”

“It’s not like I would have sent a tweet to alert the media or have done a live feed.”

“I don’t know that it’s part of our charter to go around punishing people in secret.”

“You are a secret service agent. Secret is right there in your title.”

“That doesn’t mean I get to do whatever I want. My job is to bring people to justice.”

“He wouldn’t have been brought to justice. He would have been brought to the Reagents. I know they are meant to be the good guys but I’m not sure I’m down with them turning people’s brains into data that they keep in a pokeball to be called up when it’s useful to their needs.”

“I know I’m not ok with that.”

“And you’re not ok with Pete for trying to destroy the coin are you?”

“I will be. At least I hope so. I’m just as angry with HG as I am with Pete over that. Maybe even more so.” She means that, she had said as much to HG when they were in Hong Kong.

HG had been examining the chair central to the chess lock whilst Myka had continued with her investigation of the table. She wasn’t sure whether the device would hold the answers they needed, or even if it would be able to give up its secrets and allow them access through the portal, but it was all that they had to go on. 

She traced her fingers over the surface of the table hoping to find an inconsistency or a defect that might give them somewhere to start. All of her focus was on her task. She had stopped letting HG engage her in conversation as she believed it would distract them and result in failure. It was probably overkill but drastic times called for drastic measures. 

Her fingers had found nothing but dust and dry blood when she felt a hand wrap around her wrist.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I believe that I am conducting a thorough investigation of everything in the room,” HG replied and moved her hand a little further up Myka’s arm. 

She looked up at HG with what she hoped was an expression of disapproval, “I am relatively certain that I am not the key to unlocking this trap.”

HG grabbed Myka’s other wrist and the momentum brought Myka to a kneeling position in front of her. HG arched an eyebrow and shot her a look that made Myka’s blood feel like it was on fire. “Relatively isn’t the same as completely. It would not be prudent for us to dismiss any possibilities out of hand. Not when the fate of the world might be at stake.”

“I sincerely doubt that what you are doing has anything to do with the fate of the world.”

HG didn’t answer immediately. She pulled Myka to her feet and then spun her around. Myka tried to back away but her legs hit resistance and she found herself sitting on the arm of the chair. HG was quick to take advantage of the moment and before Myka could stop her HG had pushed Myka’s legs apart and nestled herself between them. Myka’s balance was precarious and she was forced to wrap her legs around HG for support. In return HG looped her arms around Myka’s shoulders. “I don’t know about the fate of the world but I can tell you that we are currently doing feels very important,” HG said and then brushed her lips against Myka’s.

“This isn’t the time for this,” she admonished.

“I’d say it’s the perfect time,” HG corrected.

“There are bigger things going on and Pete’s in real danger. We can’t be thinking about ourselves.”

“I almost died. In a very banal manner that was not befitting of me I must add. I would have died without ever getting to touch you again. It would be wrong of me not to have learnt from that grave mistake.” HG ran her hand over Myka’s hair before tucking it behind her ear.

Myka’s heart rate had risen rapidly and wherever it was pumping blood it wasn’t to her head because she didn’t stop HG. She placed her forehead against HG’s and sighed. “Don’t you ever do that to me again,” she whispered.

“Not likely. Now that I have you back I will never let you go.”

“You can’t know that. You don’t know what the Regents will do to you.”

“They were kind enough to let my body roam free before.”

“That wasn’t you.”

“I know. That woman had a cat. Of all things. A cat.”

“And yet you were willing to kill yourself and leave me with that cat lady in some misguided attempt to stop ………”

“I was willing to protect you,” HG gripped the back of Myka’s neck tightly. “I will never apologise for that. Never.”

“But you would have been gone.”

“Part of me would have lived on.”

“Not the part of you that I care about.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you are not interested in my body?” HG pushed her hand below Myka’s shirt and her fingers danced over a lace covered nipple. “Because I doubt you are being entirely honest with yourself if you believe that.”

HG’s pinched Myka’s flesh and the skin came to life. “I’m not immune to your touch,” she admitted.

“You could still have had this.” HG painted her tongue along Myka’a collarbone. “At least I wouldn’t have taken it from you.”

“She wasn’t you.”

“It was my body. You would have reacted to it.” To prove her point HG pushed Myka’s shirt up and then supported Myka’s back as she kissed the skin of her breast. HG’s tongue flicked at Myka’s nipple and Myka moaned in response.

Her breathing had become shallow and her head fell back in response to HG’s ministrations, “This doesn’t prove anything.”

HG raised her head and looked Myka in the eyes. For a brief moment Myka regretted having spoken but HG’s thumbs began to trace patterns on her thighs and it became hard to think about anything over than that sensation. HG slowly crept her hands higher and when she pushed the seam of Myka’s pants against aroused flesh Myka let out a hiss. She buried her hand in HG’s hair and forced her tongue into HG’s mouth. 

When they parted HG had a smug look on her face. “See I think you are down playing just what this body can do for you.”

Myka ran her hands up the back of HG’s legs. “I’m well aware of what your body does to me. That doesn’t change the fact that Emily Lake did nothing for me.”

“You would have known what to do, known how to make my body respond.”

“She was nothing like you. Things might not have been the same. She may not have liked the things you do.” Myka nipped at HG’s earlobe and then dove a tongue into the ear.

“There is no way she would not have liked that,” HG purred.

“She might have been frigid.”

“Impossible,” HG replied with an arrogance that was both inappropriate and arousing. 

“She might have been homophobic.”

HG seemed to draw up short. “I didn’t mean to be leaving you alone.”

“Are you admitting that you are wrong?”

“I may have failed to consider all the possibilities. I just wanted to keep you safe and it did please me to think that a part of me would have still been able to see you. To touch you.”

“How could you think I would have wanted that? To be left with a zombie. A ghost made of your flesh that didn’t have your soul?”

HG let out a sad laugh. “You know when I suggest destroying the coin I honestly thought I was doing something good and right. It’s been a long time since I was able to say that about anything with the notable exception of being with you my dear.”

Her chest tightened and she fought back tears. “Maybe it was the right thing as far as the bigger picture goes but it would not have been good or right for me. Your mind is a terrible thing to waste.”

“I’m starting to think you only love me for my mind.”

Myka had removed her hand from its resting place on HG’s arse so that she could link their fingers together. “I do love you. All of you.”

“But my mind means more to you than my body.” 

“You’re very beautiful and I won’t deny that I’m attracted to this,” Myka ran her free hand down HG’s front and smiled when HG’s eyes darkened. “But I don’t want it if it doesn’t come with this,” Myka placed a finger in the centre of HG’s forehead.

“Duly noted,” HG had sounded sincere.

“You have no idea what it was like to look at your Doppelganger. To see someone who was so like you but so unlike you.” It had also been heart breaking to see HG hugging someone else. On an intellectual level she knew that it wasn’t HG and that the student was no competition but there was still a part of her that wanted to punch the girl in the face.

“I might have an inkling. Every time I emerged from limbo your physical appearance had changed a little,” she pulled at the ends of Myka’s straight hair. “It was disconcerting. It made me realise how much time had passed and how much I’d missed. It also made me worry that maybe things were different for you and that you might have moved on.”

“No such luck. When it comes to you I lack any semblance of common sense or sanity.”

“Well thank goodness for that. If you were sensible or sane you might look at me and see the woman who just shot at you and nearly got your skull cleaved in two.” HG’s tone was flippant but there was no hiding the pain in her eyes.

“None of that was you.”

HG studied the damage to Myka’s jacket, “It doesn’t make me feel any better to know that. You may have had faith in me but I also saw the terror on your face and I will always feel like I put it there.”

“I won’t be lining up to put myself in that position again.” She had believed that HG would be able to solve the puzzle but that hadn’t stop her from being scared out of her mind. It wasn’t just the physical danger that had been frightening; it was the knowledge that it had been clear to Sykes that she was HG’s Achilles’ heel. Being so transparent was a liability for both of them.

“And I won’t be letting anyone control my body if I can help it. By the way we should be celebrating the fact that I’m not under the influence of that crippled little puppet master anymore. I suggest that we start by getting you naked.”

“We need to get back to matter of the lock but I promise that once we get Sykes out of the way the first thing we will do is rip one another’s clothes off.” Myka had done her best to slowly move her eyes over HG’s body and there had been a surge of pride when HG shuddered in response.

“I’m sure he won’t prove a much of a challenge. As evil masterminds go he lacks a lot of finesse.”

“You mean compared with you?” She failed to hide a smile.

“That would be a very difficult yardstick, especially for someone with his lack of flair.”

“I don’t know about that. You just wanted to destroy the whole world. One could say that your evil plan lacked focus.”

HG had placed a hand over her heart, “You wound me madam.”

“Just as your attempt at noble sacrifice wounded me,” there was playfulness to her voice but her words held the truth.”

“For future reference I’ll be aware that in your eyes attempts to bring an end to the human race are more forgivable than attempts to sacrifice myself to save you.”

“Please do.”

HG helped Myka down and then wrapped her in a firm embrace. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s ok just don’t ever do that to me again.”

“You have permission to punish me severely if I ever attempt to do anything that could be labelled as heroic or selfless.”

“Good,” Myka had said and then placed a chaste kiss on HG’s lips.

“It’s a deal,” HG had sealed the pact with a kiss of her own.

Myka never imagined that HG would have gone back on her word so quickly. She pictured a lifetime ahead of them, which was probably foolish given they were at the mercy of the Reagents but foolish or not Myka had seen a future for them.

That’s all gone now. 

Whatever the future has to offer it doesn’t feature HG and the present offers nothing but pain. Happiness isn’t just a thing of the past, it belongs in the past, in a place where things were different. Her only real task now is to learn to live with her situation. It won’t be easy for her but perhaps it won’t be as hard as it will for Claudia who asks, “If you could turn back time would you make sure she didn’t do it?”

The answer to that should be simple. The answer should be ‘yes’ but Myka’s not sure it’s that clear cut. “If she hadn’t I’d be dead right now. Pete and Artie would be dead too.” 

“Would that be so bad?” Claudia asks with eyes that are both huge and serious.

“I don’t know. I think maybe it would.”

“But wouldn’t it be better than having to live without her?”

“I hate that I’ve lost her and I miss her,” there is an emptiness inside her that she can’t begin to explain, “but I don’t think that means I should try to change things. It’s seems arrogant to mess with time just because I can’t stand the thought of being without someone I love.”

Claudia looks slightly guilty, “You’re the one that said you could do without her having decided to become all noble and shit.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that she did a good thing. A stupid, foolish, wonderful thing.” She doesn’t know how to explain it to Claudia without sounding trite but as much as she wishes HG could have found a way to have the bubble protect her as well Myka doesn’t think she should take away from HG’s achievement. 

Claudia will view it as the others do. As HG turning over a new leaf and saving the world but that is not the heart of the matter. What HG found in that moment was peace. She found something that had been robbed from her when Christina was killed. She found a world worth fighting for and worth believing in.

“Jinks did a good thing too and all it got him was dead. They’re both dead and no one even knows what they did to save everyone.”

“We know.”

“That’s beside the point.”

“Maybe it’s the whole point.”

“Have I mentioned how much this sucks?”

“Not nearly enough,” Myka says.

“Are we going to be ok?” Claudia sounds so much like a little girl that if Myka’s heart wasn’t already shattered it would be breaking.

“I think we have to be.”

“That’s not fair.”

“No it’s not,” she agrees.

Nothing about this is fair. It things were fair it would be HG in Myka’s arms right now and not a grief stricken Claudia. 

Myka will be forever haunted by having to watch HG wink out of existence but she will also always have the memory of HG silently thanking her and telling Myka she loved her. For a while she wondered why HG bothered to mouth her words given Pete and Artie would never have heard her over their own yammering. She knows now that that wasn’t the point. HG wasn’t trying to hide anything. That moment needed to be private because in those final seconds they needed to believe that they were the only two people in the universe and in a way they were.

It’s not the happily every after that Myka was hoping for but it’s still something. HG should never have been hers to keep in the first place. They shouldn’t have even met. They were a freak accident. A ping. A curiousity. There wasn’t nearly enough time together for Myka’s liking but she can’t help thinking that what time they did share was important. They didn’t get forever but what they had was still epic because for HG it was worth dying for and for Myka it was everything.


End file.
